Frederico on wine and old people

"Good wines are like old people, wiser but more delicate."

Frederico, wine tour guide, Mendoza

Brillat-Savarin on cheese and women

"A dinner which ends without cheese is like a beautiful woman with only one eye."

Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, The Physiology of Taste

A Spanish proverb

"The belly rules the mind."

Spanish Proverb

Elizabeth Gilbert on Italian butcheries

“I go on alone to wealthy, ample Lucca, that little Tuscan town with its celebrated butcher shops, where the finest cuts of meat I’ve seen in all of Italy are displayed with a “you know you want it” sensuality in shops across town. Sausages of every imaginable size, color and derivation are stuffed like ladies’ legs into provocative stockings, swinging from the ceilings of the butcher shops. Lusty buttocks of hams hang in the windows, beckoning like Amsterdam’s high-end hookers. The chickens look so plump and contented even in death that you imagine they offered themselves up for sacrifice proudly after competing among themselves in life to see who could become the moistest and the fattest.”

Gilbert, E. 2007. Eat Pray Love. Bloomsbury: London.

Eddie Izzard on toasters

Yeah. Toasters. Toasters are good. Like them. Like toast. You've got a toaster and it's got a turny-dial knob thing on the side. And it lies to us. It does not tell the truth. For it has numbers from one to six and they lie. You set on four, you put bread in, and it comes up three.  

"This is three toast. No good at all. Hardly done."

You set and change to five. It comes up six, all burnt. Scrape, scrape, scrape.

"Oh, f**k it. Forget it."

The toast is in there going, "Stay down, lads. Stay down. Stay down! Go for the burn! No pain, no gain! No fish, no fowl. No socks, no shoes. No hair, no haircut."

The other toast's going, "What are you talking about?"

"I don't know. I just quite liked saying it."

I think it's one and a half times for each piece of toast. Correct me if I'm wrong here. Toast goes in. Comes up. You don't even look at it, you whack it straight down. Then you wander round with one eye on the toaster. The whole automated idea is lost.  

The toast's going, "Wait till he looks at the Cup-A-Soup."

You're going, "Cup-A-Soup, Pot Noodle, Cup-A-Soup, Pot Noodle. Oh, it's burning! Oh, no. In the bin." 

And it gets stuck in there. You know you're not supposed to put a knife in.   But you're an adult now. It's your toaster. You want to live on the edge… so get knives in the toaster. And forks. All cutlery in the toaster. And use a whisk as well. Get it in… Take it and do it in the bath. In the bath. Do it. Turn the water on. Plug. Eat a jam sandwich at the same time. Light matches. Burn the house down.

Eddie Izzard (1997) Glorious

If this makes absolutely no sense to you, I suggest you watch the video!